The Roach Motel

Let me tell you a story about two very nasty people.

Nope! Sorry to get your hopes up! Sadly, like the other six days in my week this does not involve X rated adventures and, if you ever saw the people I’m referring to (or walked into their ‘love-shack’) the sheer shock would be enough to induce retroactive birth-control throughout an entire solar system.

So, what happened? I cleaned out a rental unit yesterday & today…

N. A. S. T. Y.

I’m not talking about mere trashiness, sloppiness or *derp!* even chronic laziness… I’m talking about people so genetically defective that they were happy to live with THOUSANDS of cockroaches crawling in, under, around, over, and across every square inch of the place!

These inbred nasty sh*t-for-brains idiots didn’t even take their garbage to the dumpsters! They just filled a garbage bag, set it down and left it there until the plastic bag literally started dry-rotting.

Think about that a moment.
How long does it take a plastic bag to dry rot?
Inside and out of the weather.
Yeah… that long.

And the smell… not from the garbage. From the roaches.

Have you ever smelled roach poop? I’m talking ‘stinks bad enough that you’d be grateful to be in a barn face down in a pile of cow-sh*t’ stinkin’…

All of that and yet these people were LIVING in this place! (They weren’t paying any effing rent, thus their sheriff-induced eviction… but: THEY WERE LIVING THIS WAY!

Tonight; I tossed out an easy 100# of canned foods… where the cans had been hoarded so long that there were rusty rings from the roach poop/urine! Even better: the cans were the ‘scratch & dent’ veggies etc you get for 1/2 price before they start to swell up and the botulism grows legs.

… of this place is coated with either dead roaches, dying roaches or the surviving roaches fleeing the funeral!

Do you remember ‘Count Count’, from Sesame Street? Wellllll….. ‘COUNT ALONG AS WE USE TWELVE!!!!. *buahahahaaaahahhhaaaa* Twelve bug bombs! Not one! Not two! Not Three! Not six!!! TWELVE bug-bombs! *Buahahahahahahahaaaaa!*

Yeah. First I used 6 of the regular bombs – ALL 6 AT ONE TIME! I returned the next day only to see ( besides the dead and dying… ) THOUSANDS MORE ROACHES CRAWLING ON THE EFFING CEILING!

Ok – off to Lowes again for the heavy-duty ‘fumigators’!

I then set off 6 of those. Again – I SET OFF ALL SIX AT ONE TIME!


People say we need to help the mentally ill.
Yes. We do.

But we shouldn’t have to rent to them… and if you’re smart enough to see (and SMELL) these two winners coming your way you’ll run like hell and won’t rent to them either!

Want to know what pisses me off even more than having to wear a Tyvek suit to clean this place up (complete with booties, gloves and a filter mask)? What pisses me off is that these two high-divers into the shallow end of a very leaky gene pool ARE BOTH COLLECTING DISABILITY WHILE MY OLDEST SON (with CHROHN’S) HAS BEEN DENIED DISABILITY AFTER HAVING 4+ FEET OF INTESTINES REMOVED! (Social security says he isn’t sick… but these two asshat tenants are both collecting for being plain effing nasty.)

Nasty. F*cking. People.

No pictures. I should have taken them but didn’t want to waste a second (or breath) in the place… all I can say is this: When I went to the landfill dumping station, with all of it’s continuous slime, muck and trash? I know that roaches are there – have to be! But I’ve honestly never seen a single roach there!

I actually feel bad for dumping the crap from this sh*thole into the landfill!


Tune in tomorrow – I’ll post a picture of just one pile of dead roaches swept up JUST FROM THE KITCHEN. (* Spoiler alert: So far it’s more than will fit inside the dust pan.)

(Originally posted to FaceBook 01-05-2017)


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